things that will always sound sarcastic

  • good for you
  • thanks a lot
  • yeah right
  • nice to know
  • wow
  • way to go
  • totally
  • ok buddy

Not if you say ‘man’ at the end

ok buddy man

I might not have thought that last one through


this ones for my haters *starts crying*


honestly if i dont text you back its not because i dont like you its just because i am the worst texter unless you stay on top of me all the time. i’ll look at a text to get rid of the notification and say i’ll reply later but i always forget its not my fault. my brain has been over capacity since 2006 


IS IT FUCKING OCTOBER YET? Like damn, take your freaking time why don’t you.


i am so fuckin ready for everything to be blue&white, and for real sports to be jumpin, and mls to be ridiculously full and loud, and dumb randy carlyle jokes, and for over priced tickets, and over dramatic sports journalists, and everyone will beg mats sundin to come back for one more year to try and save the team, mmmm i can already taste toronto hockey season it truly is the most beautiful time of the year

    Teacher:"Can you please tell the class why you're so late?"
    Me:Someone told me to go to hell
    Me:Couldn't find it at first
    Me:But now I'm here